Speed Dating Through Humanity

02-07-2026

I think I’m on track to hold a Guinness World Record for having the most friends ever in a single lifetime.

Not acquaintances.

Not surface-level connections.

But real friends. People I know deeply. People whose life stories I actually understand.

If I live to 100, I genuinely think I’m in contention for holding the titles of the person with the most friends, the most stories heard, the most group chats, the most dates, the most friend groups, the most communities, the most diverse friend network, and the person who has mastered networking at a human level.

I’m the person who created the idea of having a diverse portfolio of friends instead of a diverse portfolio of investments.

Most people diversify money. I diversified humans.

I’ve always done this intentionally. I never cared about skin color. I needed a 480-pound friend. A Black lesbian friend. A gay guy. A transgender. Rich friends. Poor friends. Beautiful people. Ugly people. People society celebrates and people society ignores.

It didn’t matter. I wanted the full spectrum. I wanted to date a ten rated girl , and then I wanted to date a two rate girl. Not for validation. Not for status. But to understand. To get inside her mindset. To feel the difference between what life is like when the world treats you as beautiful versus when it doesn’t. To understand what each of them carries every single day just by existing.

That curiosity turned into a rule I lived by.

Always be testing.

Always be testing people.

Always be testing situations.

Always be testing conversations, environments, dynamics, incentives, and reactions.

Life, to me, was never something to passively experience. It was something to experiment with. I was always messing around. Always probing. Always observing. Always asking myself, what happens if. And through all of that, I realized something strange.

I had accidentally speed dated through humanity.

I’ve been deeply fascinated with humans ever since I started playing poker at 17. At first, I used this skill to exploit people at the table. I learned how they lied. How they flinched. How fear showed up in their hands before it ever showed up on their face. But somewhere along the way, I realized I didn’t just like winning money.

I loved human psychology.

That realization is probably why I ended up never having a job. I never had kids early. I never had a serious girlfriend for most of my life. I was always dating, constantly, with no real responsibilities tying me down. I had all my time as my own time, I have had like 32 career path changes, I have been to jail, been on the run, most of my adult life been financially free, and all self made no help from my broke ass parents.

That level of freedom did something important. It gave me time to listen and I mean really listen. I’d sit with people and never judge them. I’d never talk badly about them behind their backs. I’d never make them feel weird for who they were or what they were carrying. I just made them feel comfortable. Safe. Heard. Seen.

I’d ask good questions. Hard questions. The questions nobody else wants to ask or answer. And then I’d shut up and just listen. Because of that, people told me everything.

Their deepest, darkest secrets. Their fantasies. Their wins. Their victories. Their catastrophic losses. Their shame. Their pride. Their confusion. Everything they were going through. I didn’t pull it out of them forcefully. It just happened.

I’d wake up to messages that were basically someone’s entire life story laid out in paragraphs, and I’d just sit there thinking. Why the fuck is this person telling me all this shit. Wow. I guess I get to hear this person’s life today.

Over time, something else started to happen.

My empathy grew to an extreme level. My emotional intelligence sharpened. My awareness went hyper. My metacognition turned on. I started seeing patterns faster. I could tell where someone was headed by how they talked, what they avoided, what they rationalized, and what they repeated.

Eventually, this turned into what I call the Lance Algorithm.

It’s not mystical. It’s not magic. It’s just exposure at scale.

I’ve met so many versions of the same human that I can sift through people quickly and think, Oh yeah, I’ve met this archetype before. I understand how this person grew up. Why they do what they do. What pain they’re running from. What loop they’re stuck in.

I can usually guess what happens to them in a year. I can project five years out. Ten years out. I can see where their current habits, beliefs, and blind spots are going to take them.

It makes me feel like a fortune teller sometimes.

And honestly, it’s kind of crazy. My friends have gave me nicknames like the oracle, the matrix, neo, the one, the godfather, and so many more.

But it all came from one thing. Building the most diverse portfolio of friends a person could possibly have.

That’s how I speed dated through humanity.

Now it is time to fast from humans and do a human detox. Trimming all the fat from my friend group now that I've download all the data i need for the Lance's Algorithm. If you want a free reading or the Lance's Algorithm questions just text me LOL!